I have been changed.

Well, I have been back in the states only a few days now. I may have said it before, but I will say it again: I will never be the same again since my trip. Best experience ever. A lot still sinking in. Thanks for keeping up!

P.S.
Mary smiled before we were gone. Many times :) win!

Love,
Anna

Bittersweet

I don’t know how to begin summing up the last couple of days here other than to say that it has already been one hard week and it is only Wednesday. To get you on track, I must explain that there was a little boy around 3 years of age named Andrew who became sick sometime before we left for Livingstone. The first time he was taken to the doctor was because he had a rash on his body. The doctor dismissed it as a fungal thing and sent him back to the Havens with Meagan—a young woman who comes every summer specifically to work with the children here. Not long after this, Andrew started refusing to eat and when he did eat he was throwing up whatever he ate. Meagan took him back to the doctor where they kept him at the hospital for several hard days. Now, Andrew was HIV positive and tested positive for Hep-B at the hospital. He was still refusing foods and vomiting up foods after going to the hospital. His veins were collapsing when they tried to IV him. There was one day, according to Meagan, where they visited him and he was sitting up and looking somewhat better. All of that changed the next day—Monday—when his kidneys began failing. We were told sometime before lunch that he was not expected to make it through the day. In the meantime, Andrew had contracted PCP pneumonia. He was on a feeding tube, oxygen, and drips. A few hours after supper on Monday evening we got the news that he had died. Now, we were prepared to deal with a death while we were there because we had been previously educated about what happens when a Haven child dies. Initially, my response to the news of Andrew’s death was one of peace of mind that he was no longer suffering. I did not cry and really was not too sad. A lot of us responded via emotional eating.

Now, usually when a child dies here, the funeral occurs the same day. Since Andrew died later in the day and had some family planning things for him, it was put off until the next day.

The next day (Tuesday), we got up and started our day as usual. We were told to go about our normal routine and be ready to pause it for Andrew’s funeral. It was very hard to just “do the day” with that looming over us. Not to mention that it was our last day in Namwianga. The morning routine was usual and I loved on the kids a little more than normal. We found out that Meagan was going to pick up Andrew’s body sometime after our lunch, so that mentally prepared us for what was to come in the afternoon.

I had a hard time eating my last lunch—fried chicken, green beans, potatoes, gravy, and pumpkin cake—knowing I was about to witness something I had never experienced. Everyone seemed to be dealing with it in their own way—the silence was very telling as we waited to go to the funeral following our meal.
Dr. Weaver drove us in shifts—I was with the first group. We waited outside of the Havens for what seemed like forever. In the meantime, we joined the rest of our group for cake deliveries of gratitude to each Haven before going outside to wait again. Next thing we know, we hear vehicles pulling up and men singing. Everyone was there and the funeral was about to start. The scene was like nothing I have been through in my life—men in the back of the trucks that drove in were singing, a truck pulled up behind the Havens and stopped. Woman—mostly the aunties—surrounded it singing and weeping and wailing. Then the emotions came. I had been told that they usually just wrap the bodies in blankets here, so I was prepared to see something like that. I moved through the crowd holding my breath and fighting tears as the tailgate of the truck was lowered to reveal a small coffin—Andrew.

The women wept and wailed in ways I have only read about in the bible. Not an eye was dry in that moment. As his coffin was moved onto a table brought out from one of the Havens, I couldn’t control my sadness. Cari and I stood with each other, arms around, crying as Mama Cecilia—one of the older aunties—said “I won’t waste much of your time. This is one of the last times the body can be seen before it is buried.” With that, the coffin was opened just enough so you could see Andrew’s face. Meagan walked over and pulled the blankets off that covered his face before many were walking by—the aunties first, weeping, wailing…one in particular cried out “Bye bye Andrew.” I knew I had to go say goodbye to him for myself, for Andrew, and for people back home that have loved him. So, I left Cari to do so and was joined by Jill. I only gazed at him long enough to utter “I love you”, and he just looked peaceful. Still, it was very very hard, but I do not regret it. We followed a line of people—one woman in particular was still weeping and wailing—to a small grave yard a few steps back behind the Havens. While Andrew was still being viewed, we stood among the graves of other orphans that had died watching men finish digging his grave. In the meantime, all of the aunties stood by and sang songs. I thought to myself “How strong they are to be singing through this.” It was beautiful down to even the cracks of their voices when they cried while singing. The burial was more involved than the viewing. Several spoke—a family member of Andrew’s, Meagan, and maybe a couple of others. His coffin was lowered down, words were spoken, family was invited to sprinkle in some of the dirt on their own, and then it was finished. After the grave was covered, his favorite toy, some flowers, and a bag of Cheetos were placed on top. The Cheetos were from us—one day Andrew ate quite a bit and made us all laugh a lot—so we bought those to leave there.

After the service, we walked teary-eyed back to our desired Havens to finish our last day. I went to Haven 3 of course to spend my last hours with Matt and Bennett. Chitenges were tied, babies were kissed, and it really was a perfect ending to a hard day. The rest of the night was taken up by packing, more shed tears over the day, and teary goodbyes to the night watchmen.

Today we drove into Lusaka. I have eaten, showered my last shower in Africa, and am finally emotionally able to write out all of this. We fly home starting tomorrow. Much love and thanks to you all for your support and love during my time here :)

Anna

Father's Day and frightening Giraffes

Happy Father’s Day to the Dads!

Today has been great! I got up, had breakfast, and went to church with everyone. I went to children’s church for the last time and almost cried. I am going to miss them a lot. After church, we enjoyed a fantastic meal—chicken dressing. I don’t know how to describe it other than chicken and stuffing were involved and it was amazing. We also had salad made with lettuce cut right from the garden a few steps away. De-lish.

After lunch, I went to the Havens with a few others. I only stayed in Haven 3 and had a fabulous time for two hours. I brought a chitenge to hold some kids in for photo opportunities.

I discovered today that Matt is terrified of stuffed animals—particularly stuffed animals in the form of a Giraffe. So, all I had to do was hold it near him and he screamed. There is video footage. Pretty hilarious.

I had to help prepare dinner—leftovers—so for the salad Liz and I went out to the garden with a basket and a knife and literally cut it out of the ground.

Not a lot more has happened since then. We are now sitting around and will go to church soon.

Love.

Low-key day

Today was pretty good. We had breakfast this morning in Livingstone before heading out for a little shopping. I am really excited about giving gifts!!!! I left with the first group, came back to Namwianga, organized, visited Mrs. Moono (MOH-NO), and cleaned up. We all had dinner together and have just been relaxing tonight. Tomorrow we will put in some time at the Havens. I am looking forward to seeing the kids again J Love you and see you soon!

Anna 

Stressful market shopping and beautiful things

This morning I had some breakfast and joined a a group to walk to some markets for shopping. The markets here are a lot different than the ones in Kalomo and Choma. The stalls were in a line of a building and there were about 40. People watched us and talked us into their little shops trying to get us to buy stuff. I found myself extremely stressed out--kind of like the stress you get in the states when lured into a mall kiosk except more intense. Anyhow, I ended up giving money and items to trade for what seemed like a lot of random things. But that is okay. I now have most of my gifts for people back home, so that is good. After shopping, eating, and making the trek back to the hotel, I quickly gathered things for Victoria Falls. Next thing I know, I am looking at the biggest waterfall EVER. Ponchos donned, we trekked around the trails getting wet and having a good time. I thought I had seen something excellent until I made the 600+ yard hike down to the Boiling Pot. The Boiling Pot is a big swirling pool that the Zambezi pours into in a gorge. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. I went with Tessa and Ashley, and although I started to panic and fear for my life on the hike down, I don't regret climbing down. After we made the strenuous--for Ashley and I--hike back up, we joined others for more stressful market shopping. After being basically conned into getting things, we went back to the hotel to clean up before heading to another hotel for our sunset cruise. We boarded a three story boat that had tables and chairs for us to eat dinner at. Dinner consisted of three courses--all finger food. Meanwhile, we just relaxed and took pictures. The sunset was beautiful to see on the water. We headed back to the hotel afterward and now I am hanging out with Ben, Tessa, Cari, and Ashley. Good times. Headed back to Namwianga tomorrow! Love you all!

Anna

This Entry Brought to you by Ashley, Anna, Ben, Tessa, and Cari from room 139

Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Forever. Africa. 

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE YOU!!!!

Well, I don’t even know where to start now…Yesterday we drove to Livingstone, Zambia. Upon arriving, I checked into a nice hotel and then was off to lunch—Olga’s: The Italian Corner. Yes, legit Italian food in Africa. It was quite good and how much I consumed is shameful. Okay, I had a taste of bruschetta and a couple of other appetizers followed by a whole pizza and a scoop of gelato. So good. After that we quickly popped into a few shops before meeting up with the rest of the group at the hotel. Then headed to a super nice hotel---The Royal Livingstone—where we had tea and endless desserts. They do this thing called “High Tea” during certain hours of the day where you order a tea and then go to a room of desserts. It is like a buffet. They serve the tea in fancy china. We ate outside facing the Zambeze River. The mist of the Falls could be seen in the distance. It was beautiful! The night would not have been complete without the many monkeys that seemed to come out of nowhere and wreak havoc on the patio. Yes, things were broken and sugar was stolen. Hilarious! We then left in shifts for Victoria Falls! We are going again tomorrow to see them during the day, but we went last night for the lunar rainbow and—surprise—a lunar eclipse! Now, the lunar rainbow comes from the light of the moon shining through the mist of the falls. Very awesome. Speaking of awesome, the sound of the falls was more than awesome. I remember my first peek at them in the dark—my stomach turned in awe. “God made that”, one of our group stated. I agreed in silence.  I opted not to get wet last night because it was COLD. Instead, I sat at the top of the falls with Bweave, her daughter, her best friend, and a few others in our group. We watched the rainbow change here and there and waited for the lunar eclipse. Well, a lot of us were freezing, so we left before the eclipse and caught bits and pieces of it at the hotel. I felt pretty sick after eating so much, so I went to bed pretty soon after. This morning, we were up early for a nice—and SUGAR FREE (for me)—breakfast before leaving for the safari in Botswana around 7:30. I’ll spare the details of crossing over into another country and back, but it was interesting. We did so by boat. So, we rode on these awesome safari trucks to this beautiful place called the Chobe Marina Lodge in Chobe. We loaded onto a boat and went on the water part of the safari until lunch. We returned to the Lodge for a great lunch before getting back on the awesome safari trucks and driving to Chobe National Park.  We saw a lot of animals—giraffe, antelope, various winged creatures, lizards, crocs, elephant, hippo, baboons, warthogs, mongoose, and probably other things I have pictures of but cant remember. I do know that we saw no cats or zebra L I was a little bummed about that, but “The Circle of Life” was blaring in my mind and kept me focused! Haha. We finished up and returned the way we came—just with less energy. When we got back, I went to Olga’s for dinner and had pumpkin ravioli for the first time—I loved it! I have since returned, showered, and am planning on getting up with a few of the girls to go shop a bit in the morning. Later tomorrow we will go back to the Falls and then get on a boat to see the sunset on the Zambeze J And that is my life since leaving Namwianga/Kalomo. We go back on Saturday, and I look forward to seeing the kids again before headed to the states. Let me hear from you all! Love you!

Anna J

"We have been encouraged"

Hello! It is Monday and we only work one more day before heading to Livingstone for a few days of adventure. Crazy! I am back in a language group with toddlers for now. Busy busy. So let me tell you about yesterday (Sunday). We hopped into every vehicle we could find and drove into the bush—basically the middle of nowhere compared to where we are currently—on roads you wouldn’t believe a car could travel on. We were going to Kasibi to worship with the people there. You see, our cook— Lennerd—is from this little village. Upon arriving in Kasibi, we parked a few feet from a small building made of concrete. Next to it was an “arbor”, if you will, made of tree branches and straw/grass.  Under it were rows of benches also made of concrete bricks. The people of Kasibi were bringing out wooden benches from the church so that everyone could worship outside together. All the men sat on the left side and the women on the right, entering in. All of the songs they sang in Tonga, their native language. I recognized two we had sung at the Namwianga church—one we had sung in English—and so I hummed along. For each speaker, a native translated for us. It was very interesting and awesome to experience. Toward the end of the service, two groups of Kasibi singers sang to us—a female group and a male group. They were entertaining and wonderful. After they sang, we were invited to come to the front and sing to them. After singing “I love you with the love of the Lord” in English, we proceeded to sing two songs in Tonga—the ones we had learned from Webster the night watchman. He even came to church with us to lead us. The members were reportedly very honored that we did this—no other group has learned and sung to them in their language. Awesome. When service was over, the entire congregation lined up outside the arbor along the road and we shook each hand on the way out. Never in my life has this happened. Many of them even curtsied to us! So different.  We walked down the road with everyone to an area where a house and different live animals were found. A little band was playing under some trees and we sat under the same wooden benches they carried out of the church earlier. We were invited into the house to get some traditional Zambian food—I LOVE IT! And then we sat and enjoyed some musical entertainment. It wasn’t tribal or too upbeat much to my dismay. It was pretty chill and when we finished eating everyone—yes, even I, with coaxing—joined in the circle around the band for some dancing that was much tamer than I had anticipated. I spent the afternoon relaxing and then attended church locally with everyone else.  All in all, Sunday was super interesting and wonderful.

One of our faculty—Dr. Hopper, who just visited—summed up my feelings at this point when he stated “We came to Zambia to encourage, and we have been encouraged.”

Right now we are watching a show on the veranda of one of the houses. We have a screen with a projector. Be jealous J I am drinking hot black tea made in South Africa and I am becoming so very fond of it. 

Anyhow, love you all and see you soon!

Anna

Cardboard boxes

Today is/was Ian’s (Dr. Tullos’s son) birthday! He turned 14. After a busy morning, we had African lunch—tshima!—followed by birthday cake. After lunch, I retreated to the house to clean and organize things for feeding class.

Now, there are a few women and men who keep our house and do our laundry throughout the day while we are in and out. One of the women is named Mildred. She sweeps our house and makes up our beds every day. I have greeted her so much she knows my name. So while I was cleaning up things for therapy in the kitchen today, she was also working in the kitchen. I got to know her a little better and learned new things. She first asked how old I am, so I told her. She replied “Oh! You are YOUNG!” I laughed and asked how old she is. “Thirty-six”, she replied. I said “Wow, Mildred, you look younger than that! You age well!” She giggled. I went on to ask her where she stayed and she described where she lives from where our house is. She went on to tell me she has a husband and five daughters—20, 18, 16, 13, and 10 years old. Yes. She also has a grandson who is 2 years old. When I asked if she spoils him, she laughed and said “No!” Oh Mildred, I like her. Anyhow, so while she and I talked I sort of explained some of the toys and instruments I was packing up for the afternoon. Mildred was cutting up squares from paper boxes—trash bag, Ziploc, cereal, etc—the whole time. When I asked what she was doing, she explained that she was cutting them for the people at the clinic to write information on. I wanted to give her all the paper and pens I could find in that moment. Who would ever think to use trash—if you will—for paper? Mildred did not act like it was even a little bit odd. She wished me a good afternoon as I left for the Havens, and that was that. The afternoon went quickly. I spent time with Matt and Bennett again before heading back for the night—they cried and clung to my legs when I left L

Tonight we rushed back, hopped into a few vehicles and rode a short and bumpy ride to Jordan’s Rock, a literal and very large rock in the middle of what one might refer to as the bush. It was awesome. We roasted hot dogs and s’mores. We watched the sunset and witnessed the beautiful starry sky. Good times. After returning home, I have rinsed off the day and am looking forward to a good night’s sleep with a little help from Melatonin—I have had trouble falling asleep the past few nights. Hope all is well on the other side of the ocean J Love y’all! 

Messy children

I woke up this morning and when I stepped outside, I noticed an uncharacteristic overcast sky. Just as breakfast was starting, I heard the sound of RAINDROPS?! Yes, rain drops. It rained for maybe 2 minutes, and then it was done. The walk to the Haven was dry and cool. Throughout the day, however, the skies cleared up and it warmed up outside. Overall, it was a tiring day I must say. I spent the first two hours of my morning in Haven 3 with the TB and HIV babies. Ruth rolled from her stomach to her back, but just couldn’t seem to roll from her back to her stomach. She hated me for working her out, but I know she will thank me when she is rolling all over the place next week. The next baby I had was Adam, a six-month-old baby. He was defensive about me being close to his mouth with our feeding and swallowing instruments, so I stayed far from his face. But then Adam started the “let’s get Anna really dirty today” theme by spitting up his medicine all over my hands and skirt. The next hour of my day occurred in Haven 1 with a baby named Chilala. She is a super cute and very alert 5-and-a-half month old. Now, the other day I held a baby and put her back after she spit up once on me. Well, Chilala spit up on me 3 times and I just could not put her back for some reason. I sang to her and just held her and thought about how much that might mean to her to be held by someone for an hour. Hooray! Lunch was fantastic and the break between lunch and the afternoon couldn’t have been long enough. Next thing I knew, I was back at Haven 1 being spit up on by Virginia. Oh well. The remainder of my afternoon took place in Haven 3 of course. I spent lots of time with Matt and Bennett, my children as far as I am concerned on this trip. They got goldfish crackers all over me and each other. Funny story… Matt was sitting in my lap sort of eating when Bennett walks toward me and falls onto my lap/Matt. When he fell, a gold fish cracker flew out of his mouth onto Matt’s arm. Yes, and then Matt ate it. So at the end of the day, I was nicely decorated with various food groups thanks to all the kiddos. I am going to miss them terribly.

But enough of that. Love to you all!

Anna

Six miles a day

Yesterday was the first day of our third full week with the kids at the Havens! I am in the feeding group, so this week I am with younger babies who have demonstrated issues with developing muscles in their body properly to eat appropriately. We had a couple of feeding groups this morning in which we sang to them and used some techniques and instruments to facilitate better muscle tone and eating habits. The next group was just individual interaction. After holding one baby girl who christened my new skirt and my already dirty shirt, I cleaned her up and laid her down. I held a couple of others for a while after that. Needless to say, this group is much different than the last couple weeks of toddlers. Still, it is good and I can tell even the little ones enjoy being held and touched and fed.

Today was a good, tiring day. Dr. Weaver went Today B Weave went to pick up her daughter and several others coming to hang with us until we leave. A couple of guys came to film a documentary of our trip which is awesome!!! Anyhow, so since B Weave (Dr. Weaver) had the truck, we were on our own to walk back and forth to the Havens. I usually walk two or three out of the six times back and forth. Each way is 1.75 miles. Today I did about six miles and I totally feel it.

So, we are doing a class blog while we are here, and I posted today. I figure I will share that link so you can read that as well as my classmates thoughts so far. It is csdinzambia.blogspot.com.

I love you all!

Anna

It is Friday!!

Another week is over! Crazy. So this week was good—I did more language therapy stuff this week. A lot of it was interacting with kids through play and songs with the other clinicians. I really fell in love with a couple of little boys in Haven 3, the Haven where the babies with HIV, TB, and other health problems stay. Their names are Matt and Bennett. They each have their own personalities and they just click with mine. We have good times. Every afternoon I end up going over there to play with them specifically. I like encouraging them to get pumped up and talk to me.  I taught one to say Anna today! AWESOME! They are incredibly cute!

I think I have already posted about a typical week for me, and I will say that this week was pretty typical. I had been a little down after being sick again on Sunday, but after Tuesday I felt a lot better and was loving everything more.

I can’t remember if I have mentioned singing with Webster or not…so I will elaborate. Well, Webster is one of the two night watchmen that guard our houses throughout the evening into morning. One night last week, a small group of us was chatting with him and he taught us a song in Tonga. He liked it so much he made us sing to our group. Well then everyone liked it so much that Webster started “singing practice” with us every evening. Since then, we have learned—and quite nicely perfected—a couple of songs. He is really good at teaching us and he really enjoys it. It’s been fun. We have often sung some of these songs with the aunties and the kids at the Havens during the day. I think it is a beautiful statement to our willingness to form relationships among the people here. It is just a simple way to stop trying to impress—if you will—our own songs from our own culture upon them and humble ourselves by joining theirs. One of the aunties always sings with us and it is awesome to see her not only to that but to also open up to us in other ways. She invites us to help prepare the toddlers’ lunches and she sits with us during our time with them. Her name is Beatrice and I am sure you will see pictures and hear more stories of her.

Tomorrow some of us will go into town to pick up things we need, but it will also be a free day. I need to go to the Havens and prepare for gathering research for my capstone project on development. So I am sure I will start that tomorrow or Sunday. I also hope to take some pictures and maybe video of the place we are staying. I have lots of documentation of the kids and some from our trip here, but not a lot more.

 Right now the power is out for the third night in a row—it has been going out only at night lately and about an hour after dinner. So, we are sitting around with headlamps, flashlights, etc…playing games, chatting, watching movies, whatever. That’s just how it goes.

I will be posting this once power is back!

Love.